Obliteride Journey Continues...

Last weekend was the Obliteride. As I look back over the past months of this journey, I know I have grown as a person. I was reminded how much cancer touches everyone’s life in some way.  Either you know someone who has it, has battled it or who lost the battle.  From previous writings, you know that the same time I was training for this ride – my mom was and is in the thrusts of a battle of her own.  Her strength and determination have shown me once again how truly blessed I have been to have her as my mother.  We continue this journey, just in a different way now.  Me focusing on my health, my family and preparing for a half marathon in the near future my mom taking each day as they come.

As I get ready to send out my thank you notes to all those who donated to such a wonderful cause. I think about the wonderful friends and family that I am surrounded by and know that no matter what obstacles are put in my path I have the love and support of others to help.  That is truly a blessing.

I decided to write a newsletter to send out with my thank you notes – below is the headline article…

Bishop Finishes Ride Despite Obstacles

Being an inaugural ride you expect there to be a few wrinkles in the process, the Obliteride was no different.  It offered challenging hills that all of the riders soon began to complain about, and navigation difficulty throughout. Despite these obstacles, Sonia Bishop biked on and completed all 100 miles of the adventure.  When asked how she did it, she replied, “I just kept looking down at all the names on the ribbons, some family, some friends and many I never personally met. I thought if they can go through battling cancer, I can suck it up and ride the 100 miles”.  Sonia’s riding journey became an adventure when after 35 grueling miles she found herself almost back to where she originally started.  It turns out route signs were removed by pranksters and many 100 mile riders found themselves riding the wrong course; the 50 mile course.  A bit overwhelmed by the thought of starting over, and a few minutes of tears, she met another rider who had also gone the wrong way, and soon another.  They decided to call the Obliteride help line and asked to be driven 35 miles out on the correct course, rather than retrace much of the riding course to meet up with the correct path.  After waiting 15 minutes for the van and a 30 minute ride, she and the other two riders were placed on the course 35 miles in the right direction.  With fresh legs from the van ride, off she went to continue her ride and have lunch at the 50 mile marker.  Refreshed, she continued on her journey.  At about 35 miles left to go (around mile 65) she was surprised by her husband Matt and her sons Mason and Kaleb cheering her on from the back of their truck.  After hugs and encouragement she continued on her journey, which quickly went off course again.  Finding only one sign to follow, Sonia continued on a long (really long) down hill section that turned out to be the wrong way. “I was so excited for the down hill section that it took me a bit to realize that I wasn’t seeing any more arrows.  Finally it sank in that I needed to stop and call for help.”  Sonia called her husband Matt, gave him her coordinates and found that she had missed her turn by 2 miles.  Grumpy at having to go back up the hill, she made it back to the correct street and found the signs again.  Her new support team drove ahead to make sure she went the correct direction and to provide smiles and cheers. Sonia continued her journey towards the end of the race, keeping a steady pace to finish the race now within 8 hours instead of the goal of 7.  She and two other riders came to to the same grueling hills they already rode at the beginning of the ride when they went the wrong way, which was now about mile 80.  After stopping for a second wind, drinking water Sonia was off to start the hills again, dreading the next 20 miles.  Stopping to realize she was in a wrong gear, she met a very nice SAG (Support and Gear) van that noticed the distraught look on her face.  The driver explained that since Sonia had already ridden the hills, previously she didn’t need to do it again, she could loop back and ride the Burke Gillman Trail the rest of the way in.  So with a boost of confidence that she would actually finish the race, she turned around and found the Trail.  So did the other two 100 mile riders.  Sonia rode the remaining 20 miles on the trail, legs exhausted but spirits high, knowing that she had accomplished something that not many others could do.  She rode 100 miles!  

On your Mark… Get set…

It’s official, it is the Eve of the Obliteride.  This journey has gone so much faster than expected and as par for the course, I am not as ready as I hoped to be.  I am nervous, but I always get nervous before starting out on a new adventure.  I keep thinking… I just don’t want to be last.  Then I have the thoughts…so what if I am.  I will do my best, try my hardest and remember as the pain sets in, why I am doing this at all.  Remind myself that I can bear a few hours of sore knees, cramping feet and a really sore bum – it’s the least I can do.  I remind myself why I ride and look back at my original posts.  I ride for those who cannot.  That in itself is an accomplishment.  As this journey has progressed I have watched my mom become weaker and a little bit sicker.  I ride for her.  I ride to clear my head and think of my mom and remember all of our wonderful times together, all of her love, all of her support and all of her encouragement.  Just yesterday after her chemo session, she still has the spirit to lift my spirits and remind me that I can do this and to not sell myself short.  Yesterday one of my dear friends lost her younger brother, he was only 35.  He did not have cancer, but he too reminds me of the importance of life, the importance of health. Raising money for research is important. While this ride may not raise enough funds to find the “cure”, it’s worth the battle to raise funds to know perhaps the “cure” is just around the corner.  There are so many amazing breakthroughs every year and the advances on saving lives have improved.  While I know there are people suffering now and going through treatments and painful life altering decisions – hopefully within my lifetime there will be enough advances and knowledge gained that we can truly eliminate cancer as a form of human suffering.  As I prepare for this 100 mile ride, I remind myself of who I ride for.  I ride for:

1.      Steven Coronado

2.      Fred Smith

3.      Luanne Matsumo

4.      Mike Kithcart

5.      Mary L Stevens

6.      Ralland “Poppy” Stevens

7.      Carl E Johnson

8.      Helen Johnson

9.      Michelle Johnson

10.   Kathy Stevens

11.   Carol Hensen

12.   Eleanor Christiansen

13.   Terry Roaring

14.   Judge Crad

15.   Dorothy Yantz

16.   Christopher Thompson

17.   Harold Olsen

18.   Mary Munsell

19.   Elaine Craney

20.   Glena Smith

21.   Jane Burke

All have been affected by cancer.  Some have beat it, some are still fighting, and some we have lost.  This is why I ride.

Thank you to everyone who has supported me.  With your generous donations, love and support I raised a total of $2050! $550 beyond my goal! 

I am truly blessed.

A gentle reminder...

I read a blog today on WW that really put things into perspective for me.  She stated:  “I have low self-esteem because I refuse to love myself more. I let me hate me. If I treated any of my friends or my husband with such scrutiny, loathing and ridicule as I do myself, I’d be all alone. But I know that I can say these things to myself because frankly I can never leave me. I’m stuck with me. I’m a bolted down punching bag.”

As the count down to the Obliteride arrives I find myself nowhere near as fit as I was last year and realized how my self-loathing and constant ridicule of myself has spiraled me directly into the direction that I don’t want to go.  It is true, if I called others the names I call myself, they wouldn’t be my friend.  Why is it so much easier to find the negatives; to pick yourself apart rather then look at the accomplishments and the positives?

I watched Kaleb this weekend do his 2^nd every kids triathlon.  He was so excited, he swam even though he said he wasn’t going to, he rode hard and he ran fast.  During his run he and another boy collided and he fell hard to the ground.  He quickly picked himself up; eyes focused on his run ahead and ran towards the finish line.  What a lovely inspiration he is.  You always hear people say, when your down, you just need to pick yourself up and move on.  Kaleb reminded me of that today. It’s time to pick myself back up, focus my energy on being positive for myself and for my family. I promise to stop bullying myself, find time to rediscover myself again, and be proud of all the little and big accomplishments that I do.  Starting now…

I am proud that I helped our family (Team Bishop) come in 5^th for the Chelanman sprint triathlon mixed relay category.  I rode harder than I have in a long time and finished with a much better time than my same ride in 2011 – beat it by 3 minutes!  I am proud of Mason for running his little heart out at a much faster pace than mom would have.  I am proud of Kaleb for his triathlon victory and inspiration that he is.

I love my family and promise not to beat myself up in front of them.

Only 32 Days, 19 hours, 46 minutes until my ride!

It seems like I just started this blog like a day ago, and here we are on the final almost a month countdown to the Obliteride.  The sun is out and the weather is perfect for long rides of which I am slowly getting more and more time in on my bike.  I forget sometimes that long rides do take a long time.  The idea of Obliteride coming in only 32 days does cause a bit of anxiety, but I am determined to do this for all of the wonderful people who have supported me both financially as well as emotionally on this journey.  My mom's cancer continues to progress and the idea of cancer winning the fight is difficult to except.  So I continue to ride for my mom who's strength through the chemo is amazing, her determination to try and not have us "worry" I think is such a mom thing to do. We do worry, we know the outcome from this disease is not the one any of us want.  So I draw strength from my mother's fight to extend her life, if she can go through the crap she is going through the least I can do is ride 100 miles even if I am not in Tour De France shape.

Bound and Determined

So I had an eye opening experience this weekend that reminded me just how off track I am with my health.  I have been so focused on the health of others, mainly my mother’s, that I have lost focus of me.  This weekend I attempted to 1) surf behind a moving boat 2) knee board.  Both were unsuccessful.  While I should get credit for even attempting, it was also a defeating experience that I should be able to do this.  OK – the surfing one was a bit difficult, perhaps more mechanics and brain power then physical fitness, but the knee board; that shouldn’t have been so darn difficult.  My niece made it look surprisingly easy, she just popped up on the board and away she went.  Me, well there was no popping.  It was a continuous struggle of me fighting with my arms to hold the rope (mind you it’s attached to a boat going fairly fast) and trying without success to pull my body off the board and get on my knees.  From Mason’s perspective in the boat, he was wondering when I was going to try and get up.  I explained to him that I was trying the entire time!  But did not have enough arm strength to pull the rope, creep up onto my knees and successfully get into the proper knee boarding position.  I was well… tummy boarding.  I attempted multiple times, all to no avail, which led to frustration and a bit of a pitty party on my part.

So as the warm weather sets in and it’s only 33 days until I ride my bike 100 miles a bit of panic sets in; as well as a bit of resolution that I am the key to my success or failure.  I know this – I work in research for Pete’s sake.  The research I work on is focused on obesogenic outcomes and helping others to lose weight.  So I set new attainable goals, to get to the shape I was a year ago, to focus on upcoming events including the Obliteride, triathlons and a half marathon.  Ever since losing Emory (a whole different long story) I have used exercise to release my stress and cope with the changes in my life.  Somehow I lost focus of that and turned to the old standby of cinnamon bears.  With the new stress of my mother’s cancer, I know I need a positive outlet and I know what it is, I need to commit to putting time in my calendar for the needed exercise.  I need to recommit to the Weight Watchers I am paying for and not attending. I need to recommit to me!  I am hoping that my affirmations here and by writing this down for others to see that I will stay determined.  And darn it, I am bound and determined to get up on that knee board the next time the chance arrives!

Obliteride Goal Achieved!

No one who achieves success does so without the help of others.
The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.
Alfred North Whitehead

To my friends and family,

I have surpassed the Obliteride goal of $1,500 and could not have done it without you!  I am truly blessed by the outpouring of love and support given to me during this journey.  The idea of raising money at all is difficult for me.  Moreover, asking others for help; specifically monetary usually makes me cringe.  As you may have read in an earlier post, raising money is not my strong suit.  However, I strongly believe in the mission of the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center.  Otherwise, I would not have put in 16 years of employment for this institution (wow have I been our of school for that long!  Oy Vey!) 

I was worried that I wouldn’t reach the Obliteride target goal; of course I worry about lots of things, most often things that are totally out of my control.  I would say I am amazed at the outpouring of support, but I am not.  I have been blessed to be able to surround myself with wonderful people.  I have amazing co-workers who are also dedicated to the mission of Fred Hutch and who honestly dedicate a lot more time than me to it.  I think some of them may even sleep there at times! I am blessed to have a loving and supportive family and although we may not connect all of the time, I feel each truly understand the importance of family.  If it’s one thing that my parents have instilled in me it’s, the importance of family.  And I strongly believe if you show love and grace, they in turn will do the same. Finally, my friends.  My girlfriends are my rock.  I have quite a few from different stages of my life.  All are different, with different drive and direction, yet they all have a common thread.  They love me! J  No joking aside, all of these women in one way or another are strong in their faith.  That faith, higher power, spirit, mystical power whatever you want to call it, gives them the foundation as to the women they are.  These women are kind, gentle, yet strong spirited women full of compassion and well sometimes even fire. These are the women I cry with, laugh with, exercise with and trust my children to in times of crisis.  Again, I am blessed beyond words.

It’s funny as I read this blog… I can’t help but smile and understand how lucky I am.

Again, thank you to everyone who has donated to my Obliteride journey.

With love,

Sonia

Balance

It’s amazing how we can balance so many things in our lives; work, kids activities, coaching, exercise… this list can go on and on. What is being balanced? The most modern term would be in harmony, but the true definition is a steady state, a state in which a body or object remains reasonably steady in a particular position while resting on a base that is small to its other dimensions.  So I guess life can be balanced – everything equally proportioned so you are committed in every aspect of life the same way.  Am I really balanced? My children would say they probably don’t get as much time with me as they would like, my job always seems like I am a few days behind schedule, exercise is not the devoted time that it used to be.  So in truth I am not balanced.  Even off balance, something can come and completely tilt you off balance in a different direction.  That something for me is cancer.  I work in the cancer prevention center, I know about cancer, I research ways for other people to prevent it, yet it still manages to stick its nasty head straight in my face.   My mom’s liver cancer is stage 4 adenocarcinoma – lung cancer that has spread to her liver.  Without turning into a cancer lesson, it basically means that the liver is a secondary site, thus the cancer has spread through the blood stream.  That is not a good thing.  So now my life takes a different focus, a different kind of balance.  A balance of  all the items listed earlier plus spending as much time with my mom as possible.  I love this quote – Life is like riding a bicycle, in order to keep your balance you must keep moving.  I will continue to keep moving… keep moving to find that balance whether it’s harmony or just keeping things steady, I’ll do what it takes perhaps not gracefully but with determination and love.