I read a blog today on WW that really put things into perspective for me. She stated: “I have low self-esteem because I refuse to love myself more. I let me hate me. If I treated any of my friends or my husband with such scrutiny, loathing and ridicule as I do myself, I’d be all alone. But I know that I can say these things to myself because frankly I can never leave me. I’m stuck with me. I’m a bolted down punching bag.”
As the count down to the Obliteride arrives I find myself nowhere near as fit as I was last year and realized how my self-loathing and constant ridicule of myself has spiraled me directly into the direction that I don’t want to go. It is true, if I called others the names I call myself, they wouldn’t be my friend. Why is it so much easier to find the negatives; to pick yourself apart rather then look at the accomplishments and the positives?
I watched Kaleb this weekend do his 2nd every kids triathlon. He was so excited, he swam even though he said he wasn’t going to, he rode hard and he ran fast. During his run he and another boy collided and he fell hard to the ground. He quickly picked himself up; eyes focused on his run ahead and ran towards the finish line. What a lovely inspiration he is. You always hear people say, when your down, you just need to pick yourself up and move on. Kaleb reminded me of that today. It’s time to pick myself back up, focus my energy on being positive for myself and for my family. I promise to stop bullying myself, find time to rediscover myself again, and be proud of all the little and big accomplishments that I do. Starting now…
I am proud that I helped our family (Team Bishop) come in 5th for the Chelanman sprint triathlon mixed relay category. I rode harder than I have in a long time and finished with a much better time than my same ride in 2011 – beat it by 3 minutes! I am proud of Mason for running his little heart out at a much faster pace than mom would have. I am proud of Kaleb for his triathlon victory and inspiration that he is.
I love my family and promise not to beat myself up in front of them.
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